Divorce can be a difficult time for the whole family. When you’re going through a break up your thoughts are sure to be with your children, as it’s often assumed that divorce is a bad thing for them. However providing you and your ex-spouse can be civil for their sake, there’s no reason that your children have to experience any adverse effects. Here are some of the reasons why divorce can actually be a good thing for children.
It Relieves Tension In The Household
If you and your partner have been arguing for a while, a certain amount of tension can build in the household. It doesn’t even have to be full blown rows; children can pick up on passing comments and know that things aren’t quite right. Plus when you and your partner aren’t getting along, neither of you are going to be the happiest or best version of yourselves. After a separation, this tension is reduced. The arguments are gone, and you can work on healing and feeling better again. This can feel almost like a weight being lifted, and without tension, in the house, your children are likely to feel happy and relieved too.
Both Partners Can Focus Their Energy On The Children
When you and your partner haven’t been getting along (or you’ve been feeling down and sad about the relationship) chances are most of your energy has been poured into this. This can affect your children in ways you might not have realised. Perhaps you’ve been mentally ‘absent’ or have seemed less approachable to your children due to your low mood. The way you have been feeling could have even rubbed off on them. Once you’re separated and divorce proceedings are underway, both you and your partner can put your focus back on your children again. The best case scenario would be to sort childcare out of court and work out something that suits you all. But if that isn’t possible, family law specialists will be able to guide you through the process.
Children Can See Their Parents Happy
Finally, while a divorce can be an emotional time these is light at the end of the tunnel. After a divorce, both parents are free to rediscover themselves, do things that make them happy and generally be much happier people. Seeing parents separate and happy is far more important than seeing them together and sad or angry.
People can become so focused on the idea that staying together is the best thing for the children or the ‘right’ thing to do. But that is of course not true at all. Every situation is completely different, and so it’s down to you as a family to decide what’s best. Sometimes people just grow apart and a relationship that was once great now no longer works. There’s no shame in it, as humans we grow and change mentally every day, and sometimes that just leads to people no longer being a good fit.