Everyone gets a little rowdy at times. You might shout at your partner or friends because you’re frustrated, or maybe something happens which causes you to get angry. It happens to everyone and even the calmest and most composed of us will get angry sometimes. Although you might feel sorry after shouting at a child or your partner, the damage will have already been done and it’s hard to make amends. Luckily, these types of angry spurts can be fixed and with some counselling, it’s never too late to fix a relationship.
However, what happens when that relationship spirals out of control? What happens when partners are stubborn and they don’t apologise, nor do they seek counselling to assist in their relationship? That’s when verbal abuse starts to get nasty, targeted and very hurtful.
The difference between healthy and unhealthy negative emotions
Contrary to what many people believe, no relationship is a hundred percent positive. Even the strongest of couples have been through tough times, but there is a glaring difference between healthy and unhealthy negative emotions. For instance, a healthy negative emotion is something that makes complete sense and is not up for interpretation. For example, being physically abused or shouted at for no apparent reason lead to healthy negative emotions because they are warranted. These are the types of emotions that should be acted on. Point out these types of situations, remember them, and use them as examples when speaking to the abuser.
However, assuming something or overreacting to a situation are harmful negative emotions that can spiral out of control and cause undue stress and anxiety. It’s important to be able to tell the difference so that you can tell whether verbal abuse is the result of a bad situation or used in a malicious way to purposely make someone feel bad.
It was briefly mentioned before, but having a counsellor speak to a couple is one of the best ways to sort out bad emotions and negative thoughts. One of the leading causes of verbal abuse is not due to malicious intent, but actually a misunderstanding. Assuming something of your partner or being accused of something hurtful such as cheating can often lead to a lot of arguments that just aren’t necessary.
If things get out of hand and you are being verbally abused and fear your own safety, then it’s important to contact a firm such as Ramsden family lawyers in order to get the correct help that could assist you in your time of need. It’s important that you seek help as soon as possible, be it from a friend, family member or a dedicated lawyer.
Reasoning with the abuser
If you are the target of verbal abuse, then one of the only ways to get out and regain control of your life is to reason with the abuser. However, it’s never a good idea to incite their anger because they could do something even more harmful to you. It’s important that you speak in a calm tone. Criticise what they do, be conscious of what you’re saying, and don’t let your emotions get the best of you.
To effectively respond to verbal abuse, you have to understand when it’s happening and know the telltale signs that you’re about to be shouted at, made fun of, or if they are being passive aggressive towards you. The only way to stop the abuser is to let them know and make them aware of it. Failing that, the only way out is to leave.