Long term relationships are great. There’s no pretense, no need to put on a show. You and your partner become so close that you know everything about each other, and being together is comfortable and easy. However there are some downsides to being in a long term relationship too, and not kept it check they could actually be the thing that ends you both. Here are some points to bear in mind.
You Feel More Like Friends
In a good relationship, you’re best friends as well as partners. But you’re not just friends. You still want to feel romantically attached too, not just like a couple of housemates. It’s easy to fall into comfortable routines, but make sure you and your partner both know that you value each other as a romantic partner. You don’t want to end up getting a divorce or breaking up when a little extra effort could have solved matters.
You Don’t Make an Effort
One of the ways you can go about bringing more romance back into the relationship is by making an effort. Treat your partner, go on a date night. Cook them a meal, dress up nicely or buy them a token gift. Even running them a bath and pouring them a glass of wine after work is a small way to show that you care. You could clean the house, clean their car, take the kids to school or do any other job that saves them time and energy. Whatever it is, showing that you’ve made an effort just to make them happy is a nice way to show them they are valued in the relationship. If you’ve got lazy with this recently, start making more effort! Surprising them brings a bit of mystery to the relationship again, something that can be lost in a long term partnership.
You Don’t Tell Them How You Feel
Every human being needs to feel loved and appreciated. When you’re in a relationship, you need to be communicating with your partner your feelings towards them. Don’t get lazy with it, tell them you love them often. When things are’nt going well, you need to communicate this is in a healthy way too. Tell them when they’ve upset you, so you’re able to work things out. Don’t let it build to anger and resentment. Some long term couples can avoid certain things to avoid an argument but if it’s causing problems and resentment sometimes it’s better out in the open. You need to know how they feel too, are you causing any issues or upset for them? This allows you to both work through problems.
Don’t get complacent in your long term relationship. It’s important that your partner still feels valued and knows you care about them. Treat them the way you did when you were trying to first win them over, and you won’t go far wrong.
Do you have any tips for couples in long term relationships? How do you keep the spark alive?