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    There Is Help Out There When It Comes to Life’s Milestones — You Just Have to Know Where to Look

    Some say that there is no self-help guide to life. In certain aspects this is true, but for some of life’s milestones it is most certainly far from the truth; whether it be moving into your first home, getting married or even having your first child, there are people and services out there willing and even waiting to help you — all you have to do is find them.

     

    When moving out of your family home for the first time it is important to make sure that everything is done to exact and professional standards, and you can seek help when it comes this. You should seek the help of professional movers in regards to transporting all of your worldly belongings in order to make sure that everything that is coming with you will make it to the destination in one piece — if you attempt it yourself, you may end up breaking something of importance because of your lack of experience in packing and moving. Also, before the deal is even finalised, you should seek to have the home vetted, inspected and surveyed professionally so that you can be sure that you are not paying out more than you should be. Municipal reports do not always pick up on certain aspects that need doing in the home, which is why further assistance should be sought.

     

    But it’s not just the moving milestone that you can have help with, you can also have help when it comes to family matters, such as getting married and having your first child. When it comes to the latter, there are a whole host of services that can offer both support and information to make sure that you and your new baby are both developing in the best possible way. For instance, there are a whole host of resources online that offer informative support on birth plans and even episiotomy repair; for more information visit this site. As well as this, you also seek the help of a healthcare worker who will come out and monitor the growth of the baby and offer support with him/her. And when it comes to getting married, you need to not take on all the burdens; hiring a professional wedding planner will assist you in aspects such as making the most out of the budget that you have set yourself and how you can stick to it in the best way, making sure that the day is remembered by everybody who attends and they can even help in terms of the catering, flower arrangements and music that is provided. Asking for help from a wedding planner will mean that you can spend more time on the big day enjoying yourself and preparing for your life once you’ve said ‘I do’.

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    So,  the next time you are faced with a life milestone, you can rest assured that you don’t have to face it without any help by your side. There is always help out there and you should most certainly look for it if your other half is particularly useless when it comes to helping you!

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    The Mature Way To Deal With Divorce

     

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    It’s a wonderful thing in life, the day you get married, and starting your life together is an adventure like no other. But after the wedding comes the real challenge, and even if your relationship is strong, it can make the roughest of waters difficult to navigate. And sometimes things happen, life gets in the way, and unfortunately, after all the efforts and attempted amends, you admit defeat and go your separate ways. While there have been millions of couples that have gone down this route, there are things that people do time and time again.

    Bringing the kids into it is a big no-no. If you have children old enough to understand what is going on, you will have to explain in a mature fashion what is going on, and it will upset them. But a lot of couples use their children as collateral in the fallout, using them as a threat i.e. “you’ll never see your son again,” and this is the most horrible behavior. Your children aren’t toys to be bandied around. Even if you can’t act grown-up around each other, at least act grown-up around your children. You are still setting them an example. This also includes poisoning your kid’s mind against the other parent. It is childish, and even if it is done in a passive-aggressive way, your child still wants to see that other parent. And as overused as it sounds, you shouldn’t let your emotions take over, not when it comes to the children.   

    If you are instigating a divorce, it does mean that the final process is an expensive one. Divorce is a painful process, and if you are going down that route it can be a big stress because things can get petty, but there are divorce attorneys like Elliot Heidelberger Law Office who have a lot of experience in helping clients through a difficult time. Picking an attorney that has little or no experience in divorce can make it a harder process than it already is, and in going through the attorneys, it can be a big stress on your work and home life, as it is hanging over your head. Amazingly, pausing and taking a breath is something that helps in many ways. With all that stress coursing through your veins you don’t take in much oxygen. And it does sound hippy-dippy, but there are studies on the benefits of taking in as much oxygen as you can, and they are reduced stress and anxiety, and a sense of calm. Check out this breathing technique for one that lasts about 10 minutes and will help you a lot.

    The whole topic of divorce and separation is littered with stress, and the one takeaway piece of advice is to make sure you invest time in yourself. With the external stresses and pressures, it means that you can neglect yourself. So give yourself time to decompress and to actually relax. Good quality relaxing is as good as having a nap, and in going through the end of a relationship, it is an essential thing to do.

               

    marriage

    What Happens After ‘I Do’?

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    You’ve been to the chapel, you’ve got married. What next? Now is the time you embark on your married life together. For some, it doesn’t look all that different from the life you had before you said your vows. The only difference for those people is that you no longer have the stress of organising and preparing a wedding for your entire family and friends. For others, it’s all about starting a family and moving into a new chapter of your life that includes the loving chaos of children. Continue Reading

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    Life’s Biggest Celebrations And How To Prepare For Them

     

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    In life, there are many different occasions that we love to celebrate. Some of us value smaller celebrations that take place quite often, while other like to mark the larger milestones with something quite remarkable. Regardless of your celebratory preference, many life events definitely call for big celebrations. Most of these milestones and actions are things that we will see as normal, but it doesn’t make them any less exciting or worthy of a celebration. When you have a lot of stuff going on in life, you often forget that. So, in case you do, here are a few tips on how to plan and cope when it comes to some of life’s biggest celebrations. Continue Reading

    marriage

    A Guide To The Things You Should Never Accept From Your Partner

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    Relationships are never easy. There wouldn’t be millions of different TV shows, films, books and plays about them if they were. Like the TV show Veronica Mars once put it: “no one writes songs about the ones that come easy“.

    In fact, we’re almost conditioned by the arts that relationships should be painful. They should be tragic; the stuff of legend, of longing looks, lost sighs and heartbroken kisses in the rain. The legendary lovers of storytelling are undeniably tragic, from Romeo and Juliet to Cathy and Heathcliff.

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    In a popular culture that tells us these things are romantic (and even preferable), it can become easy to see your own situation as problematic. “So?” you find yourself thinking, “he and I fight – that means our relationship is passionate.”

    You can find a thousand and one justifications for this kind of behavior; of explanations of your relationship difficulties. But here’s the thing: Romeo and Juliet ended up dead. Heathcliff dies. Sure, Cathy lives – but when your most romantic, famed quartet only have a one-quarter survival rate… maybe epic romance isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

    Yet there is some truth that fighting with a partner shows passion. This whole relationship business gets pretty tricky at this point. It’s been observed that the opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference. If you’re still fighting, there’s a spark of feeling there.

    So where do you draw the line? What are the things you should never accept from your partner, from your relationship? When does a relationship problem become terminal? There are a few signs to look out for…

    1. You Cannot Resolve A Singular Issue

    If your relationship is generally good, then fighting over a single issue can seem like a minor thing.

    Of course, all things are relative – and what you fight about is the key here. If you argue over who gets control of the remote or what takeout you have on a Friday night – fair enough. If, however, you argue about any of the following, then there might be an issue:

    • Children. This can be anything from how you parent existing children, to prospective parenthood and through to adding to your brood. It can also cover how you raise your children; if one of you is more strict than the other, this is an easy source of conflict.
    • Marriage. Does one of you want to marry while the other is ambivalent?
    • Faith. Dismissing the faith of your partner or critiquing the way they worship is a sure sign of fault lines.

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    So, essentially, the life stages that are considered to be rites of passage.

    It is possible for a couple to disagree on these issues and then one party sees the other’s point of view. It can be done respectfully. But if it continues to be a problem, month after month and year after year – then it’s a red flag. It doesn’t matter how good the result of the relationship is if you fundamentally want different things on such crucial issues.

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    1. Your Partner Doesn’t Help Themselves

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    There is a lot to be said through supporting your partner through a difficult time. It’s all part of the vows we say: for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. Walking away at the first sign of trouble is a sign that you’re not committed to the relationship anyway.

    However, there is a point when you have to question the situation.

    Let’s take an example. Your partner has, on multiple occasions, been fired from a job for being late. His time-keeping is so poor that, despite a good skillset, he’s not viable as an employee.

    The first time it happens, you launch into support mode. Maybe you buy him a nice watch, set alarms for him or help work out the quickest route to work.

    But on the fifth time it happens – well, there’s nothing more you can do. Him losing his job for such a minor issue destabilizes your entire family setup, putting your lives in jeopardy and causing undue anxiety. Maybe he has a medical condition – for example, people with ADHD struggle with time-keeping – and it’s worth checking out. Or maybe, he just doesn’t care enough. Why should you keep caring if he doesn’t?

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    It can be bigger issues than just time-keeping. Again, an example: your partner develops an alcohol dependency or other addiction. The first time, you check him into www.clearbrookinc.com/ and offer all the love, support and prayer you can. If he slips up once – that’s okay, it happens. If he slips up for the tenth time, then your efforts are not being respected. Don’t fall down the slippery slope of convincing yourself this time will be different because, before long, you’ll be on the twentieth this time. You’re at the old cliche of “definition of insanity” point by then. And like most cliches, it has its roots in truth.

    1. You Start To Belittle Each Other

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    So we established in the opening that arguments in isolation are not necessarily a bad thing. One of the less volatile ways of arguing is often referred to as “bickering”. This is just small, barbed arguments that don’t blow up into a full-fledged argument.

    Again, bickering can be healthy. It’s an outlet for frustration, provided you both deal with the issue and move on. However, this style of argument can become problematic very quickly – if you start to belittle or slight each other.

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    Taking the example above with the timekeeping. You’re at dinner with friends. Your husband announces he has a new job to general happiness. Yet you can’t help yourself, the words spilling forth before you have even thought of them: “yeah, if he manages to keep this one for more than 10 minutes!”

    If challenged, you’d argue it’s a joke, that you’re making light of a bad situation. It’s just gallows humour!

    Except, it’s not: it’s belittling. It’s insulting him in a nice, this-is-a-joke scarf. It will hurt his feelings even if he laughs along; you may notice that your friends’ laughter is a little frayed at the edges.

    What you’re actually saying (or he is, if you’re on the receiving end of it) is: I don’t respect you. I think it’s amusing that this thing – this terrible, life-damaging thing – keeps happening. I think it’s amusing because I have to, otherwise it’d make me cry. You hurt me, and I am bitter about that.

    1. You Never Know Where You Stand With Your Partner

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    One of the most basic rights that we are all entitled to in a relationship is to feel secure. It’s one of the primary reasons we get into relationships; to give us a partner against the world, someone we can create our own little universe with. It’s what keeps you together through thick and thin, a shared sense of experience and knowing you have each other’s backs.

    It’s impossible to be secure if your partner is not forthcoming on various issues. If you’re dating and he just mutters and looks embarrassed at marriage talk, it’s going to spike your insecurity. Sure, if you’re bringing it up on the third date, that’s probably a reasonable reaction. But if you’ve been together two years and his reaction hasn’t matured, then you could be in trouble.

    Even within marriage, your partner can undermine your sense of security. Jokes about a second wife can cut like a knife. Perhaps they have an eye for other women (https://www.romper.com/p/7-signs-your-spouse-is-attracted-to-another-person-8732), making you feel inadequate. They may even make reference to you having to do something – such as lose weight, dress better, do your make-up in a different way – to keep them around.

    In isolation, the above are not so bad. He might be concerned about you for other reasons and is trying to make the point you should change something, only he’s doing it in a clumsy way. Or, he might genuinely feel like that. He may feel his affection, his trust, is something you have to continually keep earning rather than being able to rely on.

    Some people can live with that. For some couples, an element of insecurity may actually make their relationship more dynamic and exciting. But for most of us, we can’t live like that. We need to know that when the chips are down, and our backs are against the wall, our partner is going to be there for us. The only way we can be assured in that is if they make us feel secure in the small moments of life – otherwise, how can they be there through the bad?

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    On a final note: if you recognize your relationship in any of the above, you might be struggling right now. There are still options and ways you can work through this. You can seek spiritual help as a couple or go to conventional couples therapy. Or it can be as simple as ensuring you will change your own behavior and stop doing something that you now know is destructive. The most important thing is to take action. The issues above are not going to vanish overnight; do something while you can.