If you have decided that divorce is the only option for you and your partner, you have the difficult task of telling them. They may already have an inkling that something like this is coming. In some cases, making a mutual decision like this together can be easier, but it doesn’t always work like this. If you need some guidance to break the news to your spouse in the best way possible, this guide will help you…
Making Your Divorce As Amicable As Possible
You must remember that making your divorce as amicable as possible has a lot to do with how you start the initial conversation. The first conversation you have with your spouse about this can shape the rest of the divorce and their attitude towards it. Find a way to tell them in the most diplomatic way possible without pointing the finger at them. You’re not trying to get into an argument here, you’re simply stating you are unhappy and have come to the difficult decision to divorce. How shocked your partner is by the revelation will determine the discussions you have afterwards. You should prepare for a series of conversations about this. They may even try to stop you from going ahead if they thought everything was fine in your marriage, which a few people do. It’s normal for them to get upset, worked up, and even say angry things to you. How you respond to their behaviour will shape how the rest of your divorce goes.
Listen And Don’t Be Tempted To Defend
In this first discussion, you’re going to be very tempted to defend yourself. It’s likely your spouse is angry and wants to push as much blame onto you as possible. This is where you really need to control yourself, listen, and don’t be tempted to defend. Listening to your spouse, no matter what they are saying, will make them feel heard and possibly help them to come around to the idea in a less painful way. All you need to reiterate in this discussion is that your decision is made, you empathise with them, but you won’t change your mind. Don’t be surprised if they make statement to try to get a reaction from you. A lot of what they are saying right now will be unreasonable. Now isn’t the time to sort out who will have the kids when or how much money you’re each going to get. There will be more time for those discussions later on, when the news has settled in and things have calmed down. You can find suitable divorce lawyers to help you hash out the finer details. Make it known you’d like this to be amicable and come to reasonable agreements when the time is right.
Bear in mind that if you’re concerned about how your spouse is going to take the news, it might be a good idea to break the news in front of a third party or in a public space. Your goal is to be as kind and considerate as possible while they adjust to the big changes about to happen in their lives. It isn’t easy, but if you want to move forward with your life, it can sometimes be the only way.