If you’ve just come out of a long-term relationship or marriage, life can feel pretty overwhelming right now. Nothing is as it was, and your future is nothing like you imagined it would be. But that’s OK. You’ve got a blank canvas now, allowing you to make a fresh start at a new life. If you thought you couldn’t enjoy your life without your ex, you’re wrong. You’ve now got the freedom to create a life exactly the way you want it to be.
Moving on is never easy. A big part of the problem is your mindset. At the moment you’re feeling raw. You may be feeling rejected or like you’ve failed somewhere along the line. These feelings are natural and normal. They’re a part of the grieving process. You’ve lost a relationship you were in love with once. It doesn’t exist anymore, and that is a loss to grieve over. So grieve. Allow yourself to cry and feel sad about it. Letting your body and soul have that outlet means the healing process can start.
Long term relationships often involve the sharing of belongings, accommodation, and other assets. In some cases, your relationship may even have produced children. Splitting up means coming to an agreement about who gets what. Who stays in the marital home? Who gets the coffee machine that cost an arm and a leg? And who’s got to arrange the sale of the car? Of course, your children are not possessions. They are humans going through heart break right now about your split. Managing custody and the division of assets requires careful consideration.
Using a good Divorce Mediator will help you both come to an agreement more quickly and easily. You might not care now who gets what. But emotions can cloud judgments and your feelings about certain things can easily change when you’re upset. Getting some distance in space and time can help, but the pain of a break up can last longer than you think. Forgive yourself if you find it difficult to let things go. And try to forgive your ex who is going through those exact same emotions.
New relationships can happen more quickly than either of you are truly ready for. Even years after the divorce has been settled, a new relationship can invoke some strong feelings. The other partner may feel betrayed, even though they have no reason to. Or they may feel they weren’t good enough, seeing the new partner almost like a competitor. Moving on after a break up should be about finding your own strength and achieving new successes. Perhaps you couldn’t do that while stuck in a bad relationship. Draw on these to know you are good enough, just as you are. It’s the relationship that wasn’t.
It is possible to come away from a long term relationship and feel empowered and happy within just a short amount of time. After all, a break up should be the catalyst to self-fulfilment and betterment. Find who you want to be and focus on that. When you’re ready for someone new in your life, you’ll feel it.