It’s a wonderful thing in life, the day you get married, and starting your life together is an adventure like no other. But after the wedding comes the real challenge, and even if your relationship is strong, it can make the roughest of waters difficult to navigate. And sometimes things happen, life gets in the way, and unfortunately, after all the efforts and attempted amends, you admit defeat and go your separate ways. While there have been millions of couples that have gone down this route, there are things that people do time and time again.

Bringing the kids into it is a big no-no. If you have children old enough to understand what is going on, you will have to explain in a mature fashion what is going on, and it will upset them. But a lot of couples use their children as collateral in the fallout, using them as a threat i.e. “you’ll never see your son again,” and this is the most horrible behavior. Your children aren’t toys to be bandied around. Even if you can’t act grown-up around each other, at least act grown-up around your children. You are still setting them an example. This also includes poisoning your kid’s mind against the other parent. It is childish, and even if it is done in a passive-aggressive way, your child still wants to see that other parent. And as overused as it sounds, you shouldn’t let your emotions take over, not when it comes to the children.   

If you are instigating a divorce, it does mean that the final process is an expensive one. Divorce is a painful process, and if you are going down that route it can be a big stress because things can get petty, but there are divorce attorneys like Elliot Heidelberger Law Office who have a lot of experience in helping clients through a difficult time. Picking an attorney that has little or no experience in divorce can make it a harder process than it already is, and in going through the attorneys, it can be a big stress on your work and home life, as it is hanging over your head. Amazingly, pausing and taking a breath is something that helps in many ways. With all that stress coursing through your veins you don’t take in much oxygen. And it does sound hippy-dippy, but there are studies on the benefits of taking in as much oxygen as you can, and they are reduced stress and anxiety, and a sense of calm. Check out this breathing technique for one that lasts about 10 minutes and will help you a lot.

The whole topic of divorce and separation is littered with stress, and the one takeaway piece of advice is to make sure you invest time in yourself. With the external stresses and pressures, it means that you can neglect yourself. So give yourself time to decompress and to actually relax. Good quality relaxing is as good as having a nap, and in going through the end of a relationship, it is an essential thing to do.