Pretty much everything about divorce is hard so it’s worth getting a Fayetteville divorce attorney no matter what boat you’re in, but when you have kids, getting them through the process can be extremely tough. It’s important that you do it right is you want them to get through it as easily as possible, though. Here are some tips to help you do just that:
Make it Clear It’s Not Their Fault
Perhaps, the most important thing you can do to help your children when you’re getting a divorce is to let them know that it isn’t their fault. Make it clear that nothing they could have done would have changed the outcome. This is particularly important if you have argued about the kids in front of them or if they have heard you discussing them in any way. They need to be reassured, and it is your, and your ex-spouse’s job to do that.
Don’t Talk Trash About Your Ex
I know it’s easier said than done, but for your kids’ sake, you need to avoid bad mouthing your ex, at least when they are in earshot. You might have had a tough meeting with the family lawyer or found out that your ex was cheating on your, but the kids don’t need to know about it. Apart from upsetting them and potentially causing a rift between them and the ex, they might start to resent you for it. It’s vital that kids get in well with both parents, so don’t do anything to jeopardize that.
Answer Their Questions Honestly
When you tell the children that you’re breaking up, and you should have a full and frank discussion with them about that as soon as possible, it’s important that you and your ex both take the time to listen to their concerns and answer their questions as honestly as possible. You don’t need to give them all the gory details. But fill them in as best you’re able in an age appropriate way, and they’ll be better able to deal with the issue.
Make It Clear You Won’t be Getting Back Together
Sadly, a lot of kids hang on to the hope that their parents will get back together, even after the divorce has been finalized. If you want to do your best for them, you need to make it absolutely clear that it is never going to happen, or they could end up even more upset and disappointed in the future when both parents have clearly moved on.
Allow Them to Express Their Feelings
You need to let your kids known that it’s okay to be upset about the divorce and that they are always welcome to tell you exactly how they are feeling even if they think it might upset you. You need to help your kids handle their tough emotions, but you won’t be able to do this if they don’t feel like they can talk to you about it.
Handle It Like adults
Finally, but perhaps most importantly, you and your ex should both aim to handle the whole situation like grown adults. Be calm, clear and reasonable with each other. If possible, try to avoid arguing about custody or who gets the house, coming to amicable agreements as much as possible. This will help your kids to feel that things are okay even if you aren’t going to be together anymore.
Do you have any tips for helping kids deal with divorce?