Two Kids Sitting on the Curb, Watching the Parade, Covering Ears from Noise from a Band. From a set of 10 photos taken in Morro Bay, CA 24 April 2010 during the fourth annual Discover Your Better Nature Parade and Kite Festival, ref. Photo by Michael “Mike” L. Baird, mike [at} mikebaird d o t com,; Shooting a Canon EOS 1D Mark III 10.1MP Digital SLR Camera, Canon EF 70-200mm f/2.8L II IS USM Telephoto Zoom Lens for Canon SLR Cameras, handheld, polarizer.

(image: flickr)

If you are contemplating divorce, or currently going through the process, it is likely your children factor into your main concerns. Many couples stay together for the sake of the children, but this may not be the best option for anybody in the family.

While you should always fight to save your marriage, sadly, divorce may be the best route to take. While it will be difficult and stressful for everybody, it will lead to a healthier environment in the long term. Children will adapt to the situation, but you need to guide them through the divorce process. While there are no easy answers, use the following strategies to alleviate the situation.

Find decent legal advice

It is important to find a good family law attorney, such as this one, The legal battle will be difficult, so you need somebody to fight for your rights and those of your children. While the divorce will hopefully go through amicably, a decent lawyer will help with issues around custody and child support. Finding the right legal advice is vital, so despite the expense, you want to protect your family through this emotional time.

Be honest with your children

If possible, sit down as a couple and explain the situation to your children. Dependant on their age, they may have already suspected divorce was imminent due to the tension displayed in the home. You don’t need to go into a lengthy explanation, but follow the advice from Your children will be hurt and upset, as will you, but the earlier you tell your kids, the better. From this point, you can all start to move forwards in the process.

Reassure with love

For many children, guilt is a major factor when it comes to their parents divorcing. They may blame themselves for what is happening, and reflect on what they should have done better in their own behavior. It is important your children know it wasn’t their fault, so make this clear at the outset. Your kids need to be reassured that they still have the love of both parents, despite your conflict.

Don’t squash your children’s emotions


You should share your feelings with trusted others, and you should allow your children to display their emotions. They may stifle how they feel to protect your feelings, but this is unhealthy. Let your children know it’s okay to be sad and angry and give them the freedom to express how they are feeling. Some of the emotions they will face can be find here,


Be respectful to your ex-partner

Don’t talk badly about your ex to your children. The divorce is painful enough for them, without the issue of divided loyalties. When it comes to your children spending time with the other parent, ensure the crossover is as peaceful as possible. You may not get along with the other person, but your kids don’t need to see any more conflict.