A relationship is the most wonderful thing in the world. There are no words to describe the feeling when you are head over heels in love. It’s as if the heaven and the stars have come together and you’re at the center of the universe. For sure it’s cheesy, but it’s the truth. Everyone knows when they have found the person of their dreams.
Relationships can turn sour though, and it’s not even possible to realize. Dependency is a major stumbling block because people need their space. If they feel suffocated and trapped, they lash out and run.
Are you a little clingy? Do you need to tone it down a touch? Here are four ways to be less hands-on.
Let Them Be Alone
The best couples are the ones who can be in the same house in different rooms without saying a word. It isn’t that they don’t want to speak; more they are comfortable in the silence. Normally, men and women like to fill the gaps to make the pauses seem less awkward. This can include doing something as benign as asking them what they are doing all of the time. When you can hear the silence, let it linger in the air for a while. Your partner will thank you for the break.
See Your Friends
A support group is essential for two reasons. The first is that they will take your mind off the significant other. Rather than sending text messages every two minutes, you’ll be in the moment and enjoy the banter. Not only do you need physical separation but a mental one too. Secondly, having other people in your life makes you less codependent. There is no need to party or eat or watch a movie with the BF when the girls gladly step in. And, they will if they think you are in too deep.
Be Money Savvy
Okay, some people are connected to their significant other for years and it doesn’t hurt them. In fact, it helps them because the money they receive supplements the monthly wage. This, of course, is a reference to spousal maintenance and the money one person pays to another to ensure they live to their means. Although it’s an option, it’s wise to be fully independent from a financial viewpoint. Going back for a top up suggests you’ll never be free regardless of how hard you try. Owning money provides a certain level of freedom in a relationship.
Anxiety is a tricky emotion to deal with because it plays with the mind. What are they doing? Who are they seeing? Are they going to leave me for someone else? Dependent partners let these questions peck at their heads as the thought of losing a loved one is horrible. The irony is it often drives people away. You have to be prepared to let the little things go and not worry as much. Just because they didn’t text back doesn’t mean they are cheating.
Could your relationship do with a little less dependency?