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Gabby Bows

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Parenting

The Men I Didn’t See on Father’s Day

Father’s Day is here again and I never use to acknowledge it. I would sit and think about how much my dad was a deadbeat. My father was a drug addict.

 
Recently, I began to sit down and think of a man who didn’t give birth to me but when I was 8 he opened up a savings account for me and showed me how to save and every month took the coins that I saved to the bank along with the money that he also saved for me. 
 
He took me fishing every summer. He taught play blackjack, spades, backgammon, how cheat playing monopoly, how to knit, he taught me to fry fish he brought me my first training bra. When my grandmother said no, he snuck it to me anyway.
 
He was also very protective of me. He didn’t want me to have boyfriends when I brought boyfriends home he would get a bat and put next to him and start swinging it and call them monkeys.
 
Oh, by now you probably figured it out  but the father figure in my life is my grandfather.
 
When him and my grandmother separated it tore my heart but he actually moved across the street so I got to visit often but as my life got busier the less I would visit and the sicker he got. He had lung cancer. While visiting he would bake these homemade strawberry cakes from scratch that was just heaven.
 
And of course I couldn’t see my true father Abba how could I kneel at the feet of a man when the physical one abandoned me. My father would rather get high than spend time with his daughter and all men including God formed in my head as useless.
 
So what did that mean?
 
For me, it meant I was independent and only dependent when I needed them not the other way around. It meant I told God what decisions I was going to make that was final. 
Talk about transformation Romans 12:2 resonated with my heart I had to do one thing and that was forgive. I had to let go of bitterness and anger towards my earthly father in order to love my heavenly father. Once that transformation took place I was on to something great. 
 
To absentee fathers even if you are no longer with the mother don’t neglect your child. The child can build up feeling of abandonment and those feelings can spiral into negative actions reaffirm your love for your child the best way you can.
 
I want to give a big hug and pat on the back to all fathers who have stepped up to the plate and claimed their role as husband, mentor, provider. Keep being  a great role model, leader of the family providing more than just money but giving time, love and spiritual guidance. 
 
Now my kids have the same opportunity to make memories with their father.
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